


I Just Know I Love You (BruceDick)

by nightwingingit



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Batman and Robin Eternal (Comics), Grayson (Comics), Red Hood and Arsenal (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, New 52, New52
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-04 03:02:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5318015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightwingingit/pseuds/nightwingingit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Are you one of those people?” Bruce asks.  Dick has no idea how he was able to look straight into his eyes like that even with his hypnos on, “One of those people who care about me?”</p><p>Dick blinked a moment before answering, “Ah yeah.  Of course.”  He couldn’t help but gently put his other hand over the one holding his own.</p><p>He doesn’t want him to let go.  He wants to talk to him more.  Want’s to tell him everything.  But he knows it would be selfish do that.  Bruce is happy now and he can deal with everything else.  He can deal with all of the missions, all of the blame, all of the other people that Bruce left.  He could do that for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Saw Him And He Was Happy (Without Us)

**Author's Note:**

> I took some scenes and dialogue from the comics so I put those specific comics in the beginning of the chapter so you know what I'm referencing but you don't have to read them to follow the story. These are aligned loosely in the fic since the N52's continuity is a little bit loose as well so excuse me if things don't match up time-wise perfectly.
> 
> The 1st chapter Dick is just watching Jason meeting Bruce.
> 
> Also I don't agree with what they're doing right now, not telling Bruce that he's Batman and that he has a family, but this is what's happening so Dick has to believe it.

[Red Hood and Arsenal #5 ](http://viewcomic.com/red-hood-arsenal-005-2015/)

[Batman #45](http://viewcomic.com/batman-v2-045-2015/)

Dick is perched on the ceiling of the Youth Center.  He wasn’t supposed to be here, he knew that, but before he would agree with Alfred to dress up and pretend to be someone else in front of the man that knew him the best, and in turn he believed he knew the best, Dick had to see for himself what this amnesiac Bruce was up to and if he had really lost his memories at all.

Hiding in the shadows Dick watched the man leaning down watering the plants.  Was that really Bruce down there?

He had to admit he was floored when he arrived and saw that Bruces prized dinosaur and his Joker card were reformed into objects for the playground.  A dinosaur slide.  Dick shook his head remembering all the times Bruce had told him to stop climbing on it and now he had made it into an object that was mean to be climbed up. 

Maybe that was all the evidence that he needed.

A man in a red jacket walks up to the center.  That’s odd since-

“The main office doesn’t open for a few hours—at nine.  Is there anything I can do to help you?” Bruce asks.

“Um.  No.  Yes.  No.  Do you know who I am?”

Was that Jason?! Dick tenses.  What was he doing here?

“I don’t think so, Should I?”  Their mentor asked, in a non-Bruce light hearted nonchalant fashion.  It wasn’t their stoic Bruce and it wasn’t Gotham’s playboy Brucie either.  Dick frowned.

“Well… I… I used to live here for a while.  Just wanted to check out the old place before I left town.” Jason, yes that was definitely Jason Todd, replied.  He seemed as confused as Dick felt.

“You might be surprised how often that happens.” Bruce nods, “The people here offered temporary shelter to a lot of kids over the years.  Welcome.”

They shake hands.  Dick watches intently for any sign that either of them is playing a façade or sending each other hidden messages.  Nothing.

“Feel free to take a look around.  The grounds have no doubt changed a lot.  Apparently a mysterious benefactor poured a lot of money into our home.  Whoever it was made a lot of difference to a lot of people’s lives.”  Bruce gestures towards the playground and the pool.  Dick knows that Jason is having the same thoughts that he is about that dinosaur.

“Absolutely.  You’re a good man.” Jason turns back to him. 

Dick can’t believe his ears.  What’s happened since he’s 'died'?  His little wing had mellowed.  It was a good change but Dick felt a little thrown off balance, a little like he’d been cheated out of watching this evolution take place in the Red Hood.

Maybe this is what Bruce had felt when Dick had left him all those times, for the Titans, for Bludhaven, maybe he felt the same with Jason and Tim, all those times they just departed from him and returned slightly altered by their experiences.

“Me?  I just work here.” Bruce answered and Dick almost laughed out loud.

The spy sucks in a panicked breath when Jason suddenly hugs the former Batman but then releases it upon realizing that Jason was just doing what he wished he could do instead of discreetly stabbing the man.  To be fair Jason had a tendency to carry weapons, even small knives.

Bruce seems surprised as well but then he leans into the hug and utters, “I understand.”, with a smile and Dick’s holding his breath again.  He sees it, what Alfred kept telling him, that Bruce was actually like this.  That if misfortune hadn’t hit him, hadn’t caused him to suffer so, then he would have become this openly gentle and kind, smiling, flower watering, man. 

Of course his own Bruce was kind and good but he never folded into an embrace like that or smiled that softly before ever in Dick’s memory.

That was when Dick realized he had to do as Alfred said.  He couldn’t reveal himself to Bruce.

They release each other and Jason is awkwardly rubbing the back of his head, which makes Dick just want to give him another hug, “Thank you.  For everything.”

“Take care, kid.” Bruce waves as Jason walks away, and Dick swears he can see the shadow of what they once were.  A Robin and a Batman.  Partners.  A team.

Dick itches, fickle with more than a little jealousy at Jason’s contact with Bruce.

Bruce walks into the building as Dick is pondering this.  He wanted to go ask Jason so many questions but he was still dead to him.  To them.

Bruce had only watered half the flowers before heading in.  Where was he-

Dick had seconds before he could hide as the door to the roof opened revealing Bruce.  What was he doing up here?!

Bruce walks around a little before settling at the edge of the roof looking over the playground.  A silent moment passes as Bruce overlooks the area.

The door opens once more and this time it’s a woman.  Dick observes her pretty red hair and how she touches Bruce’s shoulder casually.

“What are you doing up here so early?”  She asks.

Bruce turns back to her a look of, what Dick see’s as confusion or surprise, like Bruce’s mind had been elsewhere when she had walked up, was on his face.

“I don’t know.  I thought someone was up here somehow.  But maybe, I just like high places?”  Bruce answers, “I just felt like I needed to be up here.  Strange isn’t it?”

“A little.” She confessed, laughing as she wrapped her arm around his as they turned towards the playground once more, “This is the best spot to admire that purple dinosaur though.”

Bruce nods, “It’s really something isn’t it?”

She laces her hands in his and Dick has seen enough for today.  He silently steps away.


	2. I Met Him And He Remembers Me (Sort Of)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the assassination attempt Dick goes to make sure Bruce is okay. He knows he should leave but he finds it's harder than it seems, especially when Bruce makes it difficult for him.

[Grayson #12](http://viewcomic.com/grayson-012-2015/) (has happened so Dick met Bruce in disguise already) 

[Batman & Robin Eternal #4 ](http://viewcomic.com/batman-robin-eternal-004-2015/)

 

‘Welcome Back Bruce’ the banner had read.  If the assassination attempt had been any indication Bruce was welcome back indeed.

Dick took a breath and ran a hand through his hair, steadying himself before going to find him.  He had to make sure his former mentor was okay but he had to prepare himself to speak with the man as well.  Seeing Bruce this way was difficult, it was difficult for all of them.

“Bruce?  How are you doing?” Dick waved Bruce over.

“Mr. Sparrow?  That’s your voice, but your face is strange.” Bruce says.  He looks fine.  Completely fine in fact, especially for someone that’s just escaped an assassination attempt. 

He was wearing those jeans that his Bruce hardly ever wore, and a white T-shirt rolled up to just below his elbows.  Not only his clothes but his whole stance seemed different, his broad shoulders weren’t as straight as before, but now slightly slouched.  He looked so casual.  Even ‘playboy’ Bruce never looked like that.  

Dick knew his Bruce was insightful but it did something funny to him that this Bruce showed those traits also.  His Bruce had been darker, had been through trauma, had been hurt, and was cynical.  People would think maybe that was the reason he was able to dissect things, to notice people and the things surrounding him so well.

But the Bruce of now had no memories and Dick had only spoken with Bruce briefly a few weeks ago.  It had been weeks and Bruce still remembered the sound of his voice.  Dick had worn a disguise and called himself Mr. Sparrow, had changed his whole demeanor when speaking to Bruce before but now he had his hypnos, to hide his face, his hair was different, his clothes were different, and yet Bruce still recognize him just by his voice.  He knew Dicks voice.

Maybe it was instinctual.  Something that Bruce was born naturally to be able to do.  Maybe it was like a reflex or a type of body memory.

And maybe Dick was just memorable to Bruce.

Dick couldn’t even bring himself to hope that.

Bruce was happy now.  He didn’t need him, or any of them, anymore.  Bruce didn’t know him, didn’t feel anything for him.  It couldn’t have been what he wanted it to be.  It was just an instinct, Bruce could just tell voices apart well.  Bruce just had good observation skills and long term memory.

“My eyes won’t focus.  Should I see a doctor?  Could be a concussion.”  Bruce continues.

“Err… Couldn’t hurt.  Bruce, I’m sorry about tonight.  It’s connected to my work.  The police may be involved, so this has to stay private.  But I have my people watching.  You’re safe now.” He assures the former Batman.

‘And that’s all that matters.’  Dick thought.

“Don’t apologize.  It’s not the first time someone attacked me thanks to my… previous life.  Is there anything I can do to help?” Bruce asks concern clearly in his voice.

Dick bit his lip, ‘If only.’

“…No.  I don’t think so.”  Dick tells him.

“Well I’m just glad someone came to my party.” Emphasizing on ‘someone’.

Dick smiled and laughed a little, “Bruce, there were a lot of people at your party.  All of high end Gotham actually.”

It had only been the help that attacked him. 

Bruce sighed, “People I don’t remember.  No one that seems actually close to me.  Knows me.  No one that seems to really matter.”  Bruce confesses.

The agent looked taken aback.  Bruce was sharing his feelings with him.  Something he had rarely done before, and right now he was pretty much a total stranger to him.  Dick didn’t know how he felt about this.

“Sorry to unload on you.” Bruce sighs rubbing the back of his head.  A sad smile crossing his lips.

“People are glad you’re back.  People who care about you.”  Dick tells him.  He wants to hug him, wants to at least touch him or something, even a pat on the shoulder. 

But he shouldn’t.  They’ve been talking far too long already.  Bruce didn’t know him and honestly he didn’t know this man either really.  This wasn’t really Bruce.  It was NEW Bruce.

Dick had to get back to his mission.  The mission that HIS Bruce had given him.  He had made sure he was okay and now it was time to disappear.

Dick turns to leave but the other man grabs his wrist.  Dick stiffens out of surprise but then relaxes and turns back around.  Bruce is staring at their hands.  He laces his fingers in Dick’s.  His eyebrows furrow in that all too familiar way, just like when he was thinking really hard on a case.

Dick feels it through his gloves.  He knows what Bruce’s hands feels like.  They’re big, even though he’s older now they’re still just that little bit larger than his own, there’s a roughness to his hands, callouses still there from his days as Batman, it feel firm but gentle.  It feels the same.

But it’s not.  It can never be the same ever again.  He knew this.  But this touch still startled Dick, still unhinged him a little.

“Are you one of those people?” Bruce asks.  Dick has no idea how he was able to look straight into his eyes like that even with his hypnos on, “One of those people who care about me?”

Dick blinked a moment before answering, “Ah yeah.  Of course.”  He couldn’t help but gently put his other hand over the one holding his own.

He doesn’t want him to let go.  He wants to talk to him more.  Want’s to tell him everything.  But he knows it would be selfish do that.  Bruce is happy now and he can deal with everything else.  He can deal with all of the missions, all of the blame, all of the other people that Bruce left.  He could do that for him. 

‘For Bruce.’ His mind thought.  No.  That way it sounded like this was all Bruce’s fault.  It wasn’t.  He did chose to do all of this himself as well.  But still it had been ‘with Bruce’ before, as Robin, as a Spyral agent and that had mattered and now he didn't have Bruce anymore. 

Dick had given up his family in favor of the mission before, hadn’t he?  No, he had chosen the mission to protect his family instead of letting his family get hurt and become exposed to Spyral.  If he had been given the choice again he would have done the same thing because his family was more important than anything.  And again this all didn’t come down to a choice between family and the mission.  No, it was never that simple. 

The mission WAS to protect his family.  Protect Bruce by not telling him about their past together and protect Gotham with his other family members in his absence. 

For Dick there was only this one path.

“Bruce, I have to go.  Take care.”  He moves to slide Bruce’s hands out of his own.

The older man held on tighter, “Tomorrow.”  He says ignoring Dick’s goodbye. 

He’s got his determined face on and Dick can’t help but compare once again.  It’s the exact same as always.  His jaw is square, his eyes slightly narrowed. 

“Come have dinner with me.  The Lotus Lake at eight.  I’ll make reservations.  I’ll get a private area.”  He squeezes Dick’s hand.

Dick’s jaw is hung.  Surprised couldn’t even explain it.  Was Bruce asking him… on a DATE?  It couldn’t be.

“Um… I really…” Dick struggles to say.  He has to refuse.  He knows this.  He should want to refuse.  But he doesn’t.  And he’s so taken aback that he can’t even respond properly.

Before he could answer Bruce spoke again, “If you don’t come I’ll search for you.”  He states, was that a threat? but there was also a playful glint in his eye, “I’ll see you there.”

He squeezes the spy’s hand one more time before releasing him.  He smiles.  BRUCE smiles at him and then walks away, leaving a stunned Dick behind.


	3. He Want's Me (And I Want Him)

In the end Dick ended up going.  He’s intrigued by Bruce’s expressions, the serious look he gave when staring at their interlocked hands and the smile on Bruces lips as he left.  

The spy is worried that Bruce might actually try to find him and get into more trouble than he can handle as an average person. Apart from his innate observational skills Bruce seemed to be all around pretty gullible and innocent.  Dick smirked remembering how Bruce asked if he should get his eyes checked and when he couldn’t see his face, or when Bruce had asked who the people attacking him were.  Dick had answered ‘Them?  Passionate food inspectors.’ and out of all the replies he could have given Bruce had said, ‘Really?’.  Genius.  He would always remember that one.

But it was also a bit worrisome.  If he met the wrong people he may get pulled into even more troublesome things.

All of these were reasons that Dick formed in his head to come today but the truth was he came because he wanted to see Bruce.

He tells himself it’s not a date while wearing his nice blue suit.  The Lotus Lake really was a high end restaurant.  The lower floor was crowded with everyday people going the extra mile for an expensive nice dinner but the top floor was saved for the most elite of Gotham.  Dick exited the elevator and greeted the server who wore a black chinese dress adorned in gold.  The ceiling was very high with floor to ceiling windows all along the outer walls of building.  The tables were spaced far apart and all separated by bamboo screens.  

He was led to Bruce’s table.  They’re put in a blocked off corner of the restaurant in which two glass walls meet so they get the optimum view of the landscape of Gotham.

Dick takes note that it’s one-way glass.  They can see everything outside but the people out there couldn’t see them.  Private, just as Bruce promised.

“Mr. Sparrow.” Bruce waves over, “I still can’t seem to see your face very clearly.

Dick shrugged, “Hey Bruce.”

“I knew you would come.” He comments.

Dick startles a bit, “How?”

Bruce laughs lightly and a strange sensation sweeps over Dick again at the unusual sight, “Because I threatened to look for you.  And judging from your… looks and your protective behavior I assumed you wouldn’t want me to get into any trouble.”

“Oh” Dick replied, duh.  Bruce wasn’t as innocent as he first thought, he definitely knew less but his perception really made up for it.

“Thank you again for… helping me back there.” Bruce says, “And sorry I resorted to such a dirty trick.  I really wanted to see you again.”

Dick was glad he had the hypnos on because he was blushing profusely.  He wanted to see him.

They wanted to see each other.  

‘I’m in over my head.’ Dick thinks as he stands by his chair, ‘I can still leave… Alfred would want me to leave… The right thing to do is to leave…’

“Sit, Mr. Sparrow, please.” Bruce gestures to the seat opposite him.

Dick sits automatically.

“You can call me Dick.”

A moment later the waitress offers them wine.  Bruce refuses but then asks Dick if he wants any Dick smiles and shakes his head no.  He was glad that Bruce still didn’t care for drinking very much.

“I didn’t think you would want a drink either.” Bruce comments.

“What why?” Dick asked brow creasing.   

“Because you’re so secretive and all of that.  Of course you wouldn’t be drinking and letting your guard down.” Bruce shrugs, taking a sip of his water.

“Ah yeah” Dick laughs nervously.  He needed to calm down.  Bruce wasn’t saying these things to startle him, he was just making small talk.

Even so Dick didn’t know if he could last the night like this.  Carrying a conversation with Bruce was strange and awkward but still he would be lying if he said he didn’t want it, didn’t yearn for it.  Any contact with Bruce actually.

The night went on, they ate and Dick heard about Bruce’s work at the children’s center.  Dick shared minimal information but Bruce seemed okay with that as they continued their night.

“-And then we decided to get wash off markers so the kids could write on the windows.” Bruce told him.

Dick smiled listening to him talk, he was leaning forward a bit wresting his head in one of his hands with his elbow on the table.

“Hey you should come by and see the center some time.” Bruce suggests.

“I don’t think-” The spy starts to say.

Bruce reaches over the table and grabs his hand.  He entwines their fingers just as they did before, “Hey hey it’s okay you don’t have to.  It was just a suggestion.”

Dick chews his lip for a second but decides it’s okay since Jason got to hug Bruce he could at least be able to hold his hand.  

He remembered a long time ago, when Dick was still young, the first time he met Bruce.  The large hand that had reached out to him and the way it wrapped around his own.

Through the years as he became Robin he would run around as he pleased, and sometimes Bruce would grab his hand, fingers laced just like now, and that would stop him in his tracks.  He didn’t know if Bruce was just trying to restrain him or he knew how much Dick had liked his hand in his own.  

As Dick got older and became Nightwing he had stopped grabbing his hand but in turn Dick would grab his.  

Suddenly Bruce pulls him a bit over the table and-

“Mmh!” Dick startles.

Bruce kisses soft and light letting Dick slowly comply opening his mouth in a slack manner letting Bruce’s tongue in.

Dick knows he should be pulling away, thinking about what to do next, but his mind is just filled with Bruce.  Bruce, Bruce, Bruce.

The younger moans as Bruce turns it into a passionate kiss, leaning more over the table eagerly lapping at Dick’s mouth.  Dick laughs as the silverware clanks because of Bruce’s almost clumsy eagerness.  The sheer ridiculousness of this whole situation gets Dick laughing even more and causes the former Batman to also laugh, as they take a breather.

Okay maybe this was a date.  Maybe this was more than entwined hands or a hug.  Maybe Bruce wanted this, wanted him.  And maybe Dick wanted Bruce back.  

The night ends but not before Bruce plans another one, naturally with the clause that if Dick didn’t show up he would go look for him.  Dick doesn’t even pretend to object.  He’s being sucked in by Bruce, he knows it, and he’s letting it happen.  For whatever reason Bruce want’s to be with him.  Dick isn’t thick enough to pretend he doesn’t want him back.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heh I guess I should hurry up before Bruce gets his memory back in the real comics right? I want to tie that in too. hope you enjoy!


	4. Slow Dancing (Explicit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reference Grayson 12 so i provided a link but you don't have to read Grayson to figure out what's happening.

[Grayson 12](http://viewcomic.com/grayson-012-2015/)

 

“Why are we here?” Dick asked biting his lip, worry creasing his brow.

They had been what Dick would confess to as ‘dating’ ever since that first dinner together.  He’d been to Bruce’s apartment a few times but never-

“This is Wayne Manor.” Bruce tells him, “Well of course you know.  You came to see me here once in what I presume was a disguise?”

Dick nodded blankly as Bruce grabs his hand and drags Dick from the car to the front door.

“Oh god, here we go.” Dick thought, taking a deep breath.  He hadn’t told anyone about him and Bruce.  He wasn’t planning to and now without knowing it Bruce had brought him into the lion’s den.

Bruce knocks and before he can pound a third time Alfred already opens the door.  He takes in the two of them and raises an eyebrow at Dick, “Master Bruce and… company.”

Alfred of course didn’t know how much Dick had told Bruce, “Dick-Dick Sparrow of course.”  He laughs, “You remember me Alfred.”

The butler nods in a controlled manner, “What brings you both here?”

“There’s a party tonight that I have to attend and you know, I’ve completely forgotten how to dance.  My apartment doesn’t have enough room to practice and then I thought of here.  Sorry I didn’t call before hand.  Is it okay if we come in?”

“Of course Master Bruce,” He steps aside and allows the burly man in and then glances at Dick again, this time with a much more disapproving look now that Bruce’s back was turned to him, “And you too Master Dick.”

Dick laughed nervously highly aware of his hypnos blurring out his face, “Thank you.”

Bruce guided Dick into the study in which they had met when Dick had been in disguise.

“It’s not the largest room,” Bruce comments, “but being surrounded by all of these books makes me feel quite comfortable.  Will this do?”

“Ah yes.” Dick answers, looking around.  Alfred had already fixed the window that had been crashed through that night.

He looked over to the green chairs around the small coffee table and ghosts of their last meeting spurred, reminding Dick of why he avoided coming back here.

_“I’m very sorry, Alfred has been rather vague about your visit.  I think he worries about my feelings or me getting hurt or some such.  He treats me like a child.  His child, which I appreciate, but-- well i’m sorry it’s been so long.  Did we have a fight? or…”  Bruce trails off._

_He doesn’t know me at all._

_“No, no it wasn’t a fight.  We were friends,” I answer. We were more than friends, partners, “great friends… I had to go away.  For work.  Just a lot of work.”_

_“Oh , oh yes.” Bruce replies, “Well, I’m glad you came back.  Work Can be so stressful.”_

_He doesn’t know anything and he doesn’t ask more, as if he’s scared to delve too deep and learn too much more about me and in turn about who he used to be._

_I don’t wish to go into depth with my lies either so i get straight to the point, “There’s something i’ve got… I’ve got to ask you something.”_

_“Oh, of course.  Yes.  What is it?  You need money?  I don’t have what I guess I once had, but whatever it is…” Bruce answers immediately._

_“No it’s not money.” I tell him.  Bruce, you don’t even know if you really know me and you would give me money?_

_I let it slide and get back to the question that was nagging at me, the question I had come te ask, “It’s… I don’t know how to say it… I-- Are you happy?  I mean, I guess that’s just it.  Are you happy now, Bruce?”_

_“I don’t… happy?” Bruce looks away, perplexed by my question.  I give him time to answer. “Yes, well.  It’s a challenge to tell these things now.  When you don’t know who you are exactly.  When you’ve changed and you don’t know… you might change again.  It’s a challenge.  I don’t know if anyone else can understand that.”_

_“Try me.” I offer, I want to know.  I needed to know, I thought I could move on if I got the answer._

_“I will say this.  There are moments now, at night usually, where everything is quiet.  Just the city seems to go away.  It’s all still.  And I listen.  I can hear birds and wind-- the tapping of something on the window, maybe.  When it’s quiet like that, and i can… I feel… joy.  I suppose it’s joy, maybe.  I don’t know.  It’s hard to explain.”  Bruce has the slightest smile on his face and a glint in his eye._

_I don’t know if this is the answer i’m searching for but it would obviously be too simple to get a yes or no answer, everyone is more complicated than that.  But the feeling he speaks of sounds familiar, maybe even peaceful, “It sounds nice.”_

_“It is nice.” Bruce relied, “Or I guess, at least it will be nice as long as the window holds.”_

_that was when agent 0 had crashed in and their conversation had come to an end._

The music starts playing.  Classical and slow.  Dick gets pulled out of the memory by the warmth of Bruce’s body behind him.  Bruce holds him at his hips, pulling them closer together.

Dick lets himself melt into his broad form as Bruce kisses side of his neck.

“Are you ready?” Bruce asks.

Dick turns around in Bruce’s arms and wraps his arms around his neck and places his face him Bruce’s shoulder.

In contrast to his cold demeanor Bruce had always been warm to the touch.

“Mhm” Dick says softly.

Dick starts to sway to the music and is startled by how stiff Bruce’s motions are.  When Dick stumbles for the third time in Bruce’s awkward hold he’s brought out of his somber mood and laughs.

“Wait wait!” Dick moves away trying not to burst out laughing, “You really need help learning how to slow dance?”

Bruce has a serious and startled look on his face, “Yes.”

“Oh!” Dick couldn’t help smiling.  Even this Bruce seemed capable enough.  He thought that he had just made something up to dance with him.

Dick remembered when he was young and had just arrived at the manor.  Bruce had taught Dick how to dance.  He didn’t even mind when Dick had stood on his nice shoes as he giggled as Bruce twirled them around in time with the music.

Now it was the opposite.  Dick was the teacher and Bruce was the student.

“I’m sorry I just-- nevermind.” Dick moves into Bruce’s space positioning one of his hands at Dick’s lower back, resting his own atop Bruce’s arm and Bruce’s other hand in his own.

“Formally we should stand like this,” Dick tells him, “It’s more formal to have our entwined hands up.” he shows, “and in turn less formal the lower we hold them.  You can control the closeness of your partner with the hand at their waist.  More formal is farther away and less formal is of course closer.”

Dick tries not to laugh at the serious look on Bruce’s face as he nods, looking as if he’s taking mental note on where everything should be positioned.

“So our hands should be down.” He brought them down and then pulls Dick tight to his body by the waist, “and our bodies should be closer.”

Dick blushed smiling, “Are you sure you haven’t done this before?”

“Not that I remember.” Bruce answers.

“As much as I love being this close,” Dick interjects, “We can’t dance like this.”

Bruce smirks and loosens his hold and Dick continues with the lesson.

“Listen to the music.”  He tells him, “Let the rhythm guide your movements.  We are going to go to your right and bring our feet together and then to your left and bring our feet together in a smooth motion.”

Bruce follows Dicks lead as they glide around.  Bruce stumbling on the beat a few times but was getting the hang of it.  

Rhythm had always been a part of Dick, knowing when to jump, when to move, was part of the acrobatic lifestyle after all but he never realized that to some this was not an innate ability.  For Bruce he got the mechanics of it but he had to work at the rhythm.

He had met Bruce when he had already mastered his dancing and he hadn’t gotten to see Bruce stumble around awkwardly.  Now Bruce’s old comments on Dick’s natural ability seemed to amplify in his mind.  It would be a lie if Dick didn’t say he was just a bit smug thinking about this.

“Don’t look at your feet.” Dick scolds, “Look at your partner.”

“I definitely would if I could.” Bruce comments light-heartedly, “Your face is a blur!”

Dick abruptly stops his movement, Bruce is about to ask him what’s wrong when Dick deactivates his hypnos.

He’s nervous but he want’s to trust Bruce and want’s Bruce to know that.  

He takes a deep breath before looking up to the elders face, “Okay then.  Now look.”

Bruce doesn’t say anything as his eyes roam Dick’s face for a while.  

Dick’s brow creases, “What?”

“Nothing.” Bruce replies a little mistified, “You’re just... very handsome.  I want to commit your face to my memory.”

Bruce pulls Dick closer by the waist once more and this time bends in giving him a soft but deep kiss.

Dick closes his eyes, arms stuck between their chests, a small moan escaping his mouth.

When their lips finally part they're gasping for air.  They stare at each other, really looking into the others eyes for once.  Seeing the need that was rising within them both.

Dick kisses him again passionately.  Bruce’s hands both fall to Dick’s waist as he grabs one of his legs and hitches it up against his thigh.  Dick responds by wrapping that leg around his waist.  His arms wrap around Bruce’s neck and he lifts his other leg around Bruce’s other hip.  Bruce supported him at the thighs with his large hands.

“I want you...” Dick sighs out, he ruts once against his former mentor.

“Dick…” Bruce growls, stumbling to the green couch.  He lowers Dick onto it, looming over him.

The younger’s are up Bruce’s white undershirt, having already unbuttoned it all and commencing to touch every piece of him.

Bruce himself is taking Dick’s clothes off in record time.  

“Wait Bruce!” Dick shouts just as he’s about to pull off Dick’s shirt, “I have a lot of… scars… from work.”

Dick looks worried and Bruce kisses his forehead, “Okay.  It’s okay.  So do I.  As long as you don’t mind.”

Dick nods, lips pursed as Bruce reveals Dicks body.  His beautiful tanned skin, roughed up with scars of all sorts.  

Bruce runs his hand down his lover’s chest to unzip Dick’s pants causing him to shudder.

“Bruce... “ Dick covers his eyes with his wrists, “I… hurry up and take it all off.”

He pulls his own shirt over his head and throws it on the ground, and slides both their pants off in record time then glides his hands up from Dick’s legs to his inner thighs causing the man to shiver.

“Look at me.”  Bruce growls out, and Dick reluctantly moves his arm from his eyes, “Why are you crying?”

“I just--” A tear falls from one of his eyes, and yes, he realizes, he is crying.  Not extremely so but for some reason water seems to be leaking out of his eyes.  Dick doesn’t know why he’s crying though, his emotions are all so mixed up.  He's so happy being with Bruce but he knows it's selfish.  Knows there's a lot at risk and yet he knows he's going to make this choice anyways. “I want you… I want you **so much**.”

Bruce kisses Dick’s eyes and the trail tears down his chin, “Me too, Dick.  Me too.”

Dick nods and they're kissing again.  Bruce strokes him and he arches into the touch.

He feels something wet on his thigh and opens his eyes, “You brought lube?”  Dick asked a bit startled but not in the least bit unhappy.

Bruce nodded, coating some more onto his hands, “You always have to be prepared.” he said playfully.

Dick sniffs back his tears.  He laughs and those turn into moans as Bruce started pumping his cock and rubbing his ass.  He tugged Bruce to him by the neck and kissed him messily, their teeth rubbing against each other slightly.  Bruce moaning as Dick licked the roof of his mouth.

“Are you going to wait all day or are you going to fuck me?” he asks slyly.  He wants this.  He want’s it so much.

Bruce sticks a finger in causing him to gasp and Bruce to quirk an eyebrow, “Patience.”  He growled out.  Soon after he added another finger.

“Touch yourself,” Bruce told him, Dick nodded vehemently timing his hand with Bruce’s inside him.

After Bruce added a third finger Dick groaned loudly, stilling his own hand on his cock, “Bruce-- I don’t-- I want to cum with you…”

Bruce grunts in agreement and removes his hand.  He slowly filled Dick up, getting half way in.

“Are you okay?”  he asks, Dick’s short of breath and sweating profusely.

“Old man, hurry it up.” he tells him provocatively arching his back trying to go down on him more.

Bruce stills Dick’s movement with his hands at his hips and controls his actions into slow moving thrusts until he’s all the way inside.

Dick’s shiver as he moans, his hands clutching his own dick hard.

“Why aren’t you moving your hand Dick?”  Bruce asks, his voice low and grovely.

“I can’t.” he tells him, tilting his head to the side and rubbing his sweaty face on the couch, “I’m so close, Bruce.  I’m gonna cum.”

Bruce kisses him, this time his tongue is in Dick’s mouth, forcing him to moan out loud as he thrusts into him.  

Bruce uses one hand to guide the spy’s up and down along his shaft, “Cum, Dick, I want you to cum.”

Dick complies spilling out over both their abdomens and Bruce is quick to follow with a low moan of his own.

He leans over Dick, panting hard, body hot.

“Thank you,” Bruce whispers, “For trusting me.”

Dick caresses his face kissing him one more time, softly and lovingly, “I’ll always trust you.” 


	5. I Just Know I Love You

“Alfie…” Dick shut the front door after sliding in without knocking, “I can explain.”

Alfred had been standing near the door of the mansion as if he had been waiting for him.

Bruce had driven him home after their ‘dance session’.  Dick knew Alfred had seen that he had taken down his hypnos and kept it off.  He did a 180 back to the mansion after they said goodnight.

“Master Dick.” Alfred replied expectantly.

“I… He…” Okay Dick never actually thought up what he was going to say and what could he say that could justify what he was doing?

“He still doesn’t remember anything.” Dick told him.

“I am aware Master Dick.” Alfred said, a straight face, an expectant face.

“He said he would come looking for me if I didn’t go see him for dinner and then… it kind of snowballed…” Dick tried some more.

“I can see that.” Alfred walked over to the kitchen where some tea was brewing.  Dick followed like a puppy begging for attention and love from it’s owner or a scolded child looking to make amends, which okay now that he thought about it maybe he was.

Alfred turned off the stove and poured them both some tea, handing Dick a cup.

“Alfie…” Dick says, unable to take the silence, “He-We’re happy.”

“Are you Master Dick?” Alfed asks after taking a sip.

“Yes!” he replies a bit flabbergasted, “We are so happy.  Our relationship hasn’t been this great in years!  I mean we’ve never gone this… far BEFORE... but I mean he was emotionally congested before and just…”

Alfred raises a brow, “He’s not the man he used to be.”

“I know.  I KNOW.  He’s different now.  He’s so happy, he smiles a lot now, he even laughs more, he talks to me about his feelings, his FEELINGS!” Dick waves around his free hand for emphasis, “Bruce used to brood so much, and even when I asked and I pried he hardly let me know his thoughts and feelings.  Not that it mattered that much because you know I learned how to decipher a lot of what he was feeling but at times he could be so frustrating.  Bruce can be such a pain sometimes.  And you know Alfie he even holds my hand just like he used…”  Dick paused saying the last part in a lower tone, “...just like he used to.”

Dick looked down into his cup, his brow furrowed, “I mean…”

“He’s not the man he used to be.” Alfred repeated, “And for his sake I hope he never will be again.  I thought you believed that as well.  I thought we ALL agreed on this.”

“I know Alfie, god I know.” Dick answered, “But he…”

“Master Bruce did not want to know about his past.” He reminded him.

“I know.  I’m not going to tell him anything Alfred I just wanted to…  I just wanted to be with him.” Dick explained.

“As do many of us Master Dick, you know this.” Alfred set down his cup on the counter, “But for HIS sake we kept AWAY.”

“But… He’s not remembering anything Alfred and being with him… he won’t remember anything.” The way he said it he didn’t know if he sounded reassuring or disappointed.

“And may I ask what he believe you do for a living sir?” Afred’s frown really dug into Dick as he looked up at the man he considered to be his family.

“He doesn’t know anything.” Dick assured, “He doesn’t think anything.  I mean I did save him from some assassins a while ago so he probably thinks I’m some sort police black ops or something.  That’s not the point.  He doesn’t dig any deeper than I allow him.  He respects my privacy Alfred.”

“And what happens when you disappear off on your missions Master Dick?  Or when you show up to him bloodied and battered?” Alfred asks, “What happens when he want’s to help you? to protect you?”

“I won’t let that happen.” Was it a lie?  He knows he wouldn’t want that to happen but of course he couldn’t control these things either.  Even so he said it.

“He doesn’t remember his past but he is Master Bruce.” Alfred countered knowing he had hit a cord.

“I know.  That’s why that will never happen.  I won’t let it happen.”  Dick grips his cup.

“I... love him, Alfie…” Dick finally puts down the china before he could break the porcelain and sighs defeated.

“I do wonder,” the butler comments, striking his final blow, “Do you love the new him or are you chasing a ghost?”

Dick doesn’t answer that.  He doesn’t have to.

“Good talk.  I’ll see you later Alfie.” Dick gives him a tight smile as he quickly leaves the kitchen and exits the mansion.  

He’s grateful he came by grapple gun because he needs the cold biting wind in his face.  He takes a detour to be out longer and he fights with himself along the way.

‘He’s not going to ever remember.’

‘Maybe he will.’

‘Earlier he knew I would be on the roof.’

‘He puts his hand in mine just like he used to.’

‘Sometimes I can see Batman in his face.’

‘Sometimes he says things…’

‘You’re wrong.’

He’s angry at himself.  He want’s to protect Bruce, of course he does but he can’t pretend… he just can’t pretend that he doesn’t want to be with Bruce.  And be with not just Bruce… he wants the old Bruce back, to be with HIM.  The selfishness of that wish tore him up inside.  

Who was he kidding?  Everytime he was with Bruce he looked for traces of the man he once knew, he thought about the old Bruce and compared their every action.

The last words that Alfred had said to him repeated themselves in his mind over and over.

‘Do you love the new him or are you chasing a ghost?’

Of course he loved Bruce in his entirety but...

It’s not fair.  If Bruce, the old Bruce, was never coming back then what was wrong with him being with the new Bruce?

And that wasn’t even the main problem was it?  He should just walk away now because if he kept seeing Bruce the man would definitely get pulled into trouble somehow because of him and then everything everyone’s been trying to protect would be ruined.

Dick wished he could rewind back to their dance.  When he just didn’t think about it, when he just pretended that him and Bruce being together was enough for him and that there wouldn’t be consequences in the future if they were together.  That they could somehow just be happy.

The spy finds himself on the roof of Wayne Enterprise.  He’s out of breath and he collapses on the roof more dramatically than totally necessary.  He stares up at the sky.  Of course there are no stars in a city like Gotham.

“Okay, did you just swing up here?”

Dick jerked up into a sitting position and saw a figure standing over him, “Bruce!”

“Dick.” The billionaire greeted.

“How-” Dick started.

‘How did you know I would be here?’ he wanted to say, ‘How did you know I needed you?’ or more realistically, ‘How did you find me at the most inappropriate time?’ before stopping himself.  ‘Of course he didn’t know you would be here.’

“Why are you up here?  I thought you went home.” Dick said instead.

“I thought _you_ went home.” Bruce replied back coming to sit with him on the ground.  Their arms touched and Dick recoiled, bringing his knees up and wrapping his arms around them.  Bruce took in the mood and decided not to push it continuing, “I couldn’t sleep.  Then I felt like I needed to be somewhere up high and clear my head.”

Dick was being uncharacteristically quiet so Bruce decided to talk instead.  

Dick cursed himself for analyzing that this was among the new Bruce’s habits that he never knew old Bruce could even possess.

“The air is nice up here.” Bruce commented, “And the skyline,” He takes a deep breath of the brisk air, “It’s beautiful.”

“It is.” Dick replies nodding.  

They don’t say anything for a while, just staring out at Gotham.  Dick thinking about back when it used to be THEIR Gotham.  Before Jason, before Tim, before Steph, Bab’s, Dami, before any of them.  When it was just him and Bruce taking down the bad guys.  A time when everything was just so simple.

“You’re about to say something I won’t like.” Bruce tells him.

Dick looks over to him.  Bruce is still looking out at the city, with a serious demeanor.

“How did-” Dick starts to say.

“How did I know?  I just do.” Is Bruce’s answer.

There’s a silence again.

“Bruce, things are… complicated.” Dick gets out, “And we just… We can’t see each other anymore.  I mean we can’t be with each other anymore...  It’s just… not right.”

Gotham’s former Batman is still staring out at the skyline, “Why?”

“It’s… because of work.” Dick answers.  A partial truth was better than a lie.

“There has to be something more.” Bruce says.  

And Dick can’t handle this.  Even being an amnesiac Bruce can see straight through him.

“Is there someone else?” Bruce asks.

When Dick didn’t answer he went on, “Earlier you said you trusted me.”

“I do.” Dick quickly replied.

He takes a moment to think about his answer then says, a crack in his voice, “Kind of… Yes.”

“Do you love him?” Bruce’s face remains a dark blank slate and Dick winces because he see’s him, the old Bruce, in that action.

The younger takes a shaky breath that was meant to steady him but only served to reveal how unsteady he was feeling, “Yes.”

Bruce nods slowly as if he’s taking all of this in.  It was so strange to think that earlier that day they were so happy together and now this was happening.

“Okay.” Dick stiffens at Bruce’s easy answer.  The man turns to him and gives him a sad smile, “I’m sorry I was such a bother.  Don’t worry I won’t come looking for you.  As long as you’re happy.”

‘You idiot… you were never a bother.’ Dick thought.

Bruce’s answer was so absolute and he made it sound just so easy to cut off ties with him that Dick was unjustifiably angry.  This was just like him, to let him go if he was happy being somewhere else, with someone else.  

God he loved Bruce SO MUCH.  This was so unfair.

Bruce was surprised when Dick turned to him in a quick motion and saw his watering eyes and his heated demeanor.  He was even more surprised when Dick grabbed his shirt by the collar with both hands and tugged him into a kiss.

Dick’s lips greedy, thorough, rough, and passionate, tasting all he could of Bruce.

Stiff at first Bruce slowly complied closing his eyes and kissing him back with just as much ferocity.

They’re panting hard when they stop and just stare at each other for a moment.

Dick curse’s inwardly because this is the second time today that Bruce has him in tears and that is two too many.

‘I love you so much.’ Dick wants to tell him, but he doesn’t.

He let’s go of Bruce’s shirt, stands and then backs away to the other side of the building, never looking away from the man he cares about more than anything.

His back hits the rail of the roof, “Goodbye Bruce.” Dick tells him before he jumps off the building.

Bruce rushed from his seated position to where Dick jumped and watched as the man swung building by building farther and farther away until he was out of sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regrettably I must say this is the end of the line (until new events unfold in the DCU that involve Bruce getting his memories back and I think it's a good continuation of this story)
> 
> I hope you don't hate me too much for this sad ending and watch for me in the coming months.


End file.
